SASUKE'S CHRISTMAS PRESENT
by Sakura's little cuz
Summary: HIGHLY NOT RECOMMENDED FOR SASUFANGIRLS. Orochimaru has a BIG Christmas present for Sasuke. Bloopers included CHAPTER 4 UP!THE LAST CHAPPIE AND 5 YEARS LATER?
1. Chapter 1

**Not recommended for Sasuke Fangirls...**

**SINCE it's December me and my buds Mers and Harley have decided to spread the Christmas Sprit by making songs like you know Rudolph the Reindeer, Jingle bell and all that junk...**

**Only the twist is that they are all NARUTO STYLE!!!!**

**THIS ONE IS HIGHLY NOT RECOMMENDED FOR SASUKE- FANGIRLS!**

"Orochimaru-sama what did you get Sasuke-kun for Christmas?" asks Kabuto.

" I kidnapped some of his little friends from Konoha to sing for him" Orochimaru says smiling.

5 HOURS LATER...

"Where are you two taking me?!" Sasuke says.

"To your present of course, Sasuke-kun!" says Kabuto shoving Sasuke onto a chair. Sasuke watches the curtains raise to see a beautiful pink haired girl

"OW THAT FRICKIN' HURT YA KNOW!" screamed the girl as she was shoved to the microphone.

"Sing..." hisses Orochimaru.

'Sakura?!" Sasuke whispers under his breath.

"Oh you want me to sing I'll sing alright!" Sakura says.

"_Sasuke the red-eyed idiot_

_Had a very shiny eye_

_And if you ever saw it_

_You should just say good-bye!_

_All the other ninjas still laugh and call him names_

_They won't let poor Sasuke play any of their ninja games!_

_Then one frosty Halloween Itachi came to say_

'_Sasuke with your eyes so bright won't you kill me from my lights!'_

_Then all the ninjas jumped and shouted out 'we're free!'_

_Sasuke the red-eyed idiot you'll go down in misery!"_

Me: XD DON'T WORRY THERE'S MORE IN THE NEXT CHAPTER!

**BLOOPERS: **

**Shot one...**

"Orochimaru-sama what did you get Sasuke-kun for Christmas?" asks Kabuto.

"Oh I got him a leather g-string to go with that little torture whip thingy!" says Orochimaru sitting in his thinking chair (A/N: Familiar anyone?)

"umm...Oro-kun we're filming..." Kabuto says.

**Shot two...**

"OW THAT FRICKIN' HURT YAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Sakura yells falling off the stage face first into Sasuke's lap, where the sun never shines.

5 MINUTES LATER...

"DAMN IT SASUKE STOP PUSHING MY HEAD DOWN BEFORE I KILL YOU!"

**NEXT CHAPTER...**

**SNEAK PEEKS...**

**JINGLE BELLS (akatusuki version)**

(Itachi) What am I doing here?

(Kisame) Wow this sushi stuff is kinda good!

(Sasori) I'M A LITTLE TEA POT!

(Tobi) TOBI A BAD BOY

(Daiadara) I WANNA BE THE VERY BEST!

(Akatusuki leader) I'VE BEEN WORKING ON THE RAILROAD!


	2. Akatusuki jingles

**AND WE'RE BACK!**

**TODAY WE HAVE AKATUSUKI HERE!**

* * *

"O...K..." a kinda flustered Sasuke said.

"DON'T WORRY SASUKE-KUN WE ALSO GOT YOUR BROTHER" Kabuto yells.

The curtains lifted to reveal all of Akatusuki.

"Hey this sushi stuff is really good ya know!" says Kisame stuffing his face with sushi.

"Umm...Kisame-senpai that's shark sushi..." Tobi says. Kisame looked down at his sushi to see his cousin Sharky cut up on his plate.

"NO! SHARKY HOW COULD YOU...wait I mean...OH SHARKY HOW COULD I?!" Kisame screams falling on his knees and sucking his thumb.

"I'VE BEEN WORKING ON THE RAILROAD ALL THE DING-DONG...wait ding-dongs? WHERE?!" screams the Akatusuki leader.

"What the hell is up with him?" Sasuke whispers to Orochimaru.

"I had to take out the tranquilizer gun" Says Orochimaru patting the gun that was in his lap. "ALL OF YOU SING NOW!"

"_I WANNA BE THE VERY BEST_

_LIKE NO ONE EVER WAS!_

_TO CATCH THEM IS THE REAL TEST_

_TO TRAIN THEM IS MY CAUSE!"_ Sang Daiadara(sp?).

" SHUT UP!" Screamed Tobi holding a kunai in his hand. "Tobi a bad boy..."

"I SAID ALL OF YOU SING!" Screams Orochimaru that Sasuke swore that he heard a bit of Michael Jackson's voice that kinda creeped him out.

"_Climbing up a stone_

_Riding a bird to the river bay _

_over the village we go _

_bombing all the way_

_Mwahaha!" _Sings Sasori

"_Hearing kunais clink _

_Making corpses fly_

_Oh what fun it is to fly and fight _

_I'll murder you tonight!"_ Sings Itachi.

"_OH!" _All of Akatusuki sang.

"_Jingle bells Sasuke smells _

_Naruto laid and egg!_

_Orochimaru peed on the wall _

_And Kakashi yelled Hurray!"_

"SAY WHAT?!" Orochimaru yells/sings.

"_Jingle bells Sakura yelled _

_Ino peed her pants!_

_Hinata went all gangsta like_

_And Tenten's now a Maid!!!!!!!!!"_

* * *

**WELL PEOPLE THAT'S ALL FOR NOW!**

**ME AND MY BUDS CAN MAKE MORE SONGS IF YOU CAN GIVE US CHRISTMAS LYRICS FOR US TO TRANSFORM!**

**Bloopers:**

**Shot one... **

"DON'T WORRY SASUKE-KUN WE ALSO FUCKED YOUR BROTHER" Kabuto yells.

"HOLY CRAP YOU DID WHAT?!" Sasuke yells totally creeped out.

**Shot two...**

"I had to take out the my gun" Says Orochimaru patting his umm... you know... that 'thing' that lives between his legs...

"Dude your totally messed up!" yells a nauseous Sakura that was still in Sasuke's lap...

"DID I TELL YOU TO STOP!" Yells a angered Sasuke.

"DUDE PULL YOUR DAMN PANTS UP! AND STOP PUSHING MY HEAD DOWN! I PROMISE YOU I WILL NOT HESITATE TO KILL YOU!" yells an even angrier Sakura.


	3. JOY TO THE WORLD!

**AND WE'RE ARE BACK! BUT WHAT'S THIS? A DEATH OO! (insert dramatic gasp here)**

**READ TO FIND OUT!**

"Hey you guys have you seen Itachi?" Kisame asks the rest of the Akatsuki.

"Nope..." Orochimaru says.

"HEY LOOKY WHAT I FOUND IN THE WELL THAT GIRL FROM THE RING FELL DOWN!" Screams Sakura holding a dead Itachi's body with one hand while the other held a chainsaw...

"(insert a dramatic gasp that it takes away your breath)" gasp Akatsuki.

"_Joy to the world!_

_Itachi's dead!_

_WE BARBECUED HIS HEAD!"_ Sasuke sings as Orochimaru really barbecues Itachi's head.

"_Don't worry bout the body_

_We flushed it down the potty _

_Watch it go round and round_

_Watch it go round and round _

_Round, round and round and round!"_ Sakura sings as Sasuke flushes Itachi's body down the toilet.

"_Help me with the body!_

_It's clogging up the potty!_

_Now it's all mush!_

_Now it's all mush!_

_Mushy, Mushy, Mushy, and more mush!"_ Sings Naruto out of nowhere.

**Bloopers:**

**shot one**

"HEY LOOKY WHAT I FOUND IN THE WELL THAT GIRL FROM THE RING FELL DOWN!" Screams Sakura holding the girl's hand.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! WE HAVE 7 DAYS TO LIVE!" Screams Kabuto and Orochimaru.

"Got that right bitches!" says the girl.


	4. The End or is it?

**OH TODAY IS A SAD DAY...**

**THE LAST CHAPTER!**

**One reviewer requested something perverted so here:**

**all of them are 23**

**"Ok this is the average size of a well a u-know-what" Sakura draws a line this long--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- **

**she did it on a clipboard so it took a lot of space ok?**

**Kakashi needs surgery well down there so Sasuke, and Naruto are there accompany him**

**Sasuke nods.**

**"O.O, YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!" Naruto screams, walks out and walks back in 10 seconds later and pulls down the covers on the bed to see what she said was true, walks back out the door.**

**"XD, I got him there!" Sakura laughs.**

**"I thought you were serious..." Sasuke says.**

**"O.O; so your?..." Sakura says sweat dropping.**

**Sasuke nods.**

**"Yeah only a bit well...you know...bigger.." says Sasuke embarrassed.**

**Sakura faints.**

* * *

_"Holy night,_

_noisy night,_

_Itachi's dead and we're dead" _sing Kabuto and Orochimaru dressed in white and holding the girl's hand ( you know the one from the ring)

"_I cannot sleep,_

_only weep,_

_My bed's being used by those 2," _Tobi sings, tears pouring out of the hole in his mask, pointing to a bed that looks like it has hydrolics the bed contained a raven-haired man and a pink haired woman.

_**5 YEARS LATER ...**_

Diedara became a stripper/singer at a strip club...

Diedara comes out of nowhere

"_**I WANNA BE THE VERY BEST,**_

_**BEST THERE EVER WAS!**_

_**TO CATCH THEM IS THE TEST,**_

**_TO TRAIN THEM IS MY CAUSE!" _**He sings/screams.

Sasuke throws a shoe at him.

"CAN'T YOU HEAR I'M BUSY?!" Sasuke yells from a room.

"YEAH!" Screams Sakura also.

Diedara sighs.

"HEY AT LEAST I'M WEARING A SHIRT WITH A POKE BALL ON IT!" he screams pulling on Sasuke's old Uchiha shirt.

Kabuto became beyonce's side kick...

"**_TO THE LEFT,_**

_**TO THE LEFT,**_

_**IN THE CLOSET THAT MY STUFF!**_

**_IF I BOUGHT PLEASE DON'T TOUCH!"_** sings Kabuto.

"DUDE! I SAID YOUR NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE!" She screams as in front of the audience.

Orochimaru became the second Michael Jackson...

"**_EVERYBODY DANCE NOW!"_** Orochimaru sings.

Everybody dances afraid what he would do to them if they don't.

Sakura became pregnant, but Sasuke cheated on her while she was in labor, with a nurse that was there while she gave birth...

"YOU MOTHER FUCKER" Screamed Sakura as she threw her baby's cord at the two as she stormed out the door holding her two twins.

Sasuke was dumped by the nurse and tried to get back with Sakura but failed, there for became a bum...

Sasuke wore a sign around his neck WILL "WORK" FOR FOOD PLEASE NO MEN...

* * *

**XD THERE THE END!**

**AND NEXT YEAR THERE WILL PROBROBLY BE A THAT STORY ABOUT SCROOGE! BUT ONLY NARUTO STYLE! CHA!**


End file.
